Outgrowing Childhood Fears
As children, we have many fears. Growing up, my biggest fear was being the center of attention.
I was a very shy and insecure girl. I grew up at a time when having red hair and freckles were not cool. And, if having red hair and freckles weren’t bad enough, my parents named me Trudy. I mean why couldn’t they have given me a name like Tiffany, Jennifer, or another name that all the popular, confident girls had?
I would turn beat red when I had to answer a question in front of the entire class. In fact, this trait stood out so much that my 6th grade teacher, Mrs. Sanders, wrote a poem about me:
With Trudy there was no way to win
When she showed her special grin.
Especially on a question she did not know
She would give a grin and her face would glow.
By glowing, I mean my face would turn red and my neck would have big red splotches all over it. Also, that poem is probably the only thing I remember about my sixth grade year in school.
The thought of giving a speech in a classroom full of my middle and high school pears literally made me sick. I would find an excuse to skip school on those days…to the detriment of my grades sometimes. But there was NO WAY I was going to stand in front of my classmates and speak. The thought of doing so literally made me sick.
SIDE NOTE: I apologize to any of my classmates who were assigned a group presentation project with me that I skipped out on. I left you hanging. So sorry!
Even as a young adult I found myself being a wallflower in huge crowds. I didn’t mind this at all though. To this day I actually like sitting back, observing and people watching.
It’s funny to think that I have those traits when I am actually a very social person. I love parties. I love hanging with friends and having fun. I just never liked being the center of attention.
Life has a funny way of changing you, or maybe we just mature and change over time.
Over the last 20ish years I have outgrown my fear of being the center of attention. I still blush when I get embarrassed and my neck gets splotchy when I get angry or very nervous, but it doesn’t bother me any longer. I am at the point in my life where I don’t care what other people think.
I thought I had choosen a career that would challenge me, but not put me in the spotlight. I was wrong about the spotlight thing. I chose a career as a litigation paralegal because I thought it would be cool to help attorneys with trials. It wasn’t an issue until the digital age. I was fine when I was putting together paper exhibits, but then I had to start actually presenting exhibits electronically. Do you know what kind of pressure that is? All eyes in the courtroom are on me. I prayed before every trial that I was prepared enough. Also, being an adult means you can’t call in sick on a day you are supposed to be in trial. I had no choice, but to go do my job.
Do you know what? I was actually very good at presenting exhibits electronically in front of a courtroom full of people. I can now do it in my sleep (almost).
Over time, my confidence has grown. I can easily handle all eyes on me and being the center of attention.
A few years ago I developed a passion for holistic healthcare and natural hormone balance. I was so passionate about it that I decided I needed to teach what I know to other women. That meant standing up in front of groups of women—my pears—and teaching them. Doing this puts me at the center of attention.
Guess what? It doesn’t bother me. In fact, I LOVE IT! I can’t get enough of it. It’s not that I love being the center of attention because I don’t; I simply love sharing my knowledge with others and helping them to find natural solutions for their health.
I’m no longer afraid of giving speeches or being the center of attention. That doesn’t mean that I don’t get nervous because I do. It simply means that I am confidant enough in who I am to be able to share my knowledge in front of large groups of people.
Outgrowing childhood fears…
I’m living proof that it is possible.
My passion in life is teaching women how to balance their hormones naturally and otherwise find natural solutions for their health. If you would like more information, please reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Live healthy, my friends, and remember that age is just a number.